The Birmingham Food and Drink "Awards" [sic].

When you see the names "Hollywood Monster/Tim Andrews" and "Love Brum" coupled together in respect of an event it is always worth having a look to see what sort of shit is going down. Thus when they became involved in something called the "The Birmingham Food and Drink Awards" The Crow decided to take a closer look.....

It will be noted from previous posts that both Hollywood Monster and Love Brum were, coincidentally, recipients of large amounts of taxpayers' cash courtesy of a Government scheme administered by The Birmingham Post. Mr Andrews scored for Hollywood Monster and then went back for more in the second round of funding with Love Brum, a posh boys and girls charity and plaything of LinkedIn liggers.

In my long and undistinguished life I have seen the inexorable rise of PR bullshitters taking over the world and one manifestation of this is the new-style  "awards" industry. Back in the day, awards were generally given out by trade and professional bodies. Whilst there was the inevitable back-scratching and log-rolling so beloved of the English ruling classes, most of the gongs were decided by a committee of one's peers and had some heft. But Birmingham residents will now be familiar with the sight of assorted men in badly-fitting hired suits and women who seem to have only a passing acquaintance with an iron criss-crossing the City Centre on the way to "awards" ceremonies "created" by people for the sole purpose of making moolah.

Don't get me wrong - I am not like the communistic Jeremy Corbyn despising the profit motive but, as we shall see below, there is one sucker born every minute.....

And I have to hand it out to them - because there are so many mug punters anxious to have their egos stroked - Birmingham Events Limited came up with a clever business model for The Birmingham Food and Drink Awards (the Food Awards). This private, profit-making, company set up these Food Awards with no less than 32 (!) categories ranging from Best Curry House to Best Themed Restaurant and Best Spa. The "Judges" - apart from one category open to the public - then shortlisted at least 5 candidates for each award (thus creating over 160 "nominee companies" to flog their event to). The clever thing was then to give each shortlisted organisation a "free" seat at the awards ceremony at Edgbaston Cricket Ground banking on these morons buying extra tickets for the event at, wait for it, £70 (yes, seventy pounds) a pop!!! And it worked - with these gullible business gurus falling over themselves to attend at significant cost and, worse, some organisations that are quasi-public bodies supposed to be working to improve the city paying for tables with other people's money!

Well you might say - presumably the judging panel were high-powered figures within the industry so that their imprimatur was of worth? Alas the panel of 8 contained four local food "bloggers", one PR person, the two people who run Birmingham Events Limited itself and our old friend, the ubiquitous Tim Andrews of Hollywood Monster/Love Brum. Quite how serious food organisations, top chefs etc could feel that getting a quick blow-job from that lot was worth £70 a head is beyond me although we shall have to see what happens if this "event" is repeated next year as there have been grumblings of discontent with a number of attendees telling The Crow that the food was quite nice but that they considered the whole thing a "rip-off".

Of course, no posh party is now complete without the thrusting young bourgeois professionals of Love Brum being in attendance and they were the event's "charity partner". One of their trustees had another organisation he is involved with (which is supposed to be working for Brum's business community) pay for a large table for a nice boozy jolly - which was handy. The "charity" also had "ambassadors" on each table and one pub-manager told me the whole event was ruined for him by this person spending the ENTIRE evening hassling him to put £25 in an envelope!

Happily some organisations regularly promoted by the charity found themselves shortlisted for awards but that was, no doubt, entirely coincidental and I am sure Mr Andrews excused himself from the panel when Love Brum favourite organisations came to be considered.

So who were the people who so successfully shafted the mugs of the Birmingham hospitality industry - sorry, created out of thin air very prestigious [sic] gongs for the hard-working vendors of quality products? The current sole director of Birmingham Events Limited is one Ifraz Ahmed.

A word of caution here as some of the following details come from commercial company search sites are they are not always completely accurate. But these sites appear to show Ifraz Ahmed as having been connected, via a different address from his current one, to a large number of dissolved companies. One, "Daves Dip Limited" appears "odd" and may be a rogue search result but then there are these dissolved companies - Birmingham Telecommunications Limited, Citi-Telecom Limited, Direct Telecom Solutions Limited, First Direct Telecom Limited, International Direct Telecom (UK) Limited, Made 2 Talk Limited and Point of Call Limited.

Records show a co-director at Birmingham Telecommunications Ltd and Citi-Telecom Limited called Sajida Noreen who is also shown as residing at the same B9 address as friend Ifraz. According to the commercial search sites he was also involved with two other dissolved companies, Vanitel Limited and Made 2 Win Limited.

The main Companies House site shows that Ifraz resigned from two other now defunct companies, 04243322 and 04449323 but, much more significantly, was also a director of  Direct Mobile Networks Limited which was finally dissolved in 2013 after compulsory liquidation!

There is an old business adage taught to me by someone in the Jewellery Quarter - if you are going to shake someone's hand in business then know whose hand you are shaking!

Ifraz boasts of being the chauffeur to one Anita Chumber who styles herself as the Co-Editor of "The Asian Today" and who was the contact point for the prats shelling out £70 a head for the Edgbaston beano. There is an oddity concerning her involvement with Birmingham Events Limited in that she set up the Company and was a co-director with Ifraz on 8th February, 2016 but mysteriously resigned the very next day - 9th February, 2016. What was going on there?

So this pair constituted a quarter of the judging panel seemingly knowledgeable enough to decide whether Glyn Purnell's poached duck egg yolk with birch syrup was superior to Brad Carter's Pork Belly with ManjimupTruffle! FFS!!!!!!

Still Ifraz, everyone loves a tryer - apart, usually, for shafted creditors! And he is at it again! The general public of Birmingham are humbly invited to contact Anita Chumber to shell out just £80.24 each for the nonsensical "Birmingham Awards" on 10th September in association with no less than Brum's new masters of the universe, the all-conquering BCU (black tie!) It goes without saying that Hollywood Monster are a sponsor and Love Brum the charity "partner".

As before, there are a large number of categories - 19 this time - to create a "market" of nominees for Anita to flog her tickets too.  And so if you want to attend a totally meaningless commercial "awards" event max up the credit card and get booking...... Needless to say there are some familiar nominees and some interesting shortlisted nominees.

Mr Sam Hufton of Ricemedia is on the shortlist of five for what purports to be "Businessman of the Year". One of his partners is P J Ellis a "co-founder" of Love Brum.

In the ludicrous "Excellence in Media Award" are Delicious PR one of whose people was a judge in the Food Awards. Another nominee in this category is Orb Consulting who, curiously, also happened to be a recipient of our, taxpayers', cash via the Birmingham Post and whose Rob Bloxham happens to be a trustee of, er, Love Brum!

Edgbaston, the "venue partner" for the Food Awards now makes it into the "Venue of the Year" Category.....

Do you think this all smacks of the creation of a self-promoting oligarchy by Birmingham's wannabe new "elite" eh Brummies?

(Curiously there is an inane category for "best blogger". Got a feeling I am not going to be in the running "lol".)

Addendum:

A bit more log-rolling.... Love Brum (a charity) - see also Tim Andrews above - have heavily promoted the Hyatt Regency who just happened to also win "Venue of the Year" in last year's Birmingham awards and was "shortlisted" in no less than 3 separate categories in the Food Awards. Another Love Brum corporate sponsor Town and Country Inns had one nomination in the Food Awards.

In another ironic twist Clive Reeves PR is nominated in best PR [sic] category. They claim to act for last year's Birmingham Retailer of the Year in the joke "Birmingham Awards" and are egging on another client, Opus, via social media in the Restaurant of the Year category this year. Pass the sick bag Alice!

iancrowmultimedia@gmail.com

Love Brum Respond

Further to our post of 2nd March we have written to the Regional Growth Fund, Birmingham Post and Bournville College asking why a RGF grant was made to a non-business and await a substantive response. We will keep you posted......

We have not yet been given any detail from Love Brum as to the circumstances of the application but are very happy to put up these comments (via direct messaging) from a spokesperson:

"The accounts filed represent a 9 month period before the charity was launched, Our very first 9 month period before any donations were received and distributed.

The period was spent registering the charity, setting [up] the office, drafting [in] a team, including the recruitment of over 80 ambassadors, market researching with corporates the offering, implementing processes, vetting over 100 causes etc. And many more tasks attributed to the offering.

Furthermore no connected businesses have charged a single penny for their services. Some of the businesses have donated over £100k in kind services to date.

The RGF grant was applied for and our application was successful. Without the money we simply would not have been able to start Love Brum up and meet the high costs that are attributed to setting a business [?] up of this nature.

The Love Brum process started nearly 3 years ago. Masses amounts of work was done before it was launched. It had to be.

Every single ambassador and Trustee operate [on] a voluntary basis. No expenses are taken. For example, I donate well over 30 hours per week. The door is open to you if you want to get involved as we are looking to expand and recruit people that Love our City.

.......it does upset me to think that you are challenging some very motivated people because if you met them you would be very satisfied that their motivation is for the good of our City. Birmingham needs Love Brum, and so do the causes we are now donating to every single month.

Lastly so you understand the unique charity business model, corporate sponsorship (either corporate membership or service in kind) covers all our overheads so this means every single penny received via individual membership or donation through fundraising activity is distributed to the causes. No costs are taken from this reserved/restricted pot of money.

I hope this helps. Please get on board, we need more help."

Our only observation in passing is why such an elaborate "business model" is needed to make small grants to very small organisations but suppose we shall have to wait many months for the next set of accounts to see. Most charities, of course, show ALL funds received and then an easy calculation can be made as to their costs of governance as a percentage but this "model" seeks to differentiate between incoming monies. Love Brum spent a disproportionate amount on its first set of accounts with accounting giant KPMG and as they are also a "patron" it is to be hoped they will expedite the publication of the figures after the financial year end on 31st March and then we can be satisfied that all is well.

We are certainly not here to denigrate motivated and committed volunteers but when "ambassadors" put this sort of thing on their Twitter profile folk do tend to get the wrong impression especially where taxpayers' money is involved:

IAN CROW MULTIMEDIA LIMITED

Registered in the UK: 08892838

Love Brum Charity

In recent years we have seen the rise and rise of charities which seem to be more interested in organising jolly social events for the benefit of their own - usually white bourgeois - supporters than in doing actual charitable work. We sincerely hope that "Love Brum" is not one such although their first accounts produce an alarming picture......

Perhaps we are being a little too hard on a "new-start" charity but if you take a look at its "fancy" website and its incessant social media output you will see that no expense is being spared in "marketing" the charity - perhaps not surprising when marketing people appear to be behind it. The "pitch" is being made to middle/upper class "professional" people in our great City and WASP-ish events are then organised for them to "network" and "fundraise".

Love Brum has formed "partnerships" with numerous companies but then reciprocate with "good news" marketing. Thus, for example, when "partner" the Hyatt Regency promoted a £25 per head (ie way beyond what many people in this City can afford) "bubbles and high tea" fashion show, Love Brum helped to promote it on the basis that they would get any profit from a "raffle":

Just before we have a look at the numbers from the accounts just hold this couple of adverts (ie not a one off but repeated) in your head.

05/02/16

11/02/16

It is also specifically stated in the initial accounts that all running costs come from corporate sponsors and patrons so that "nothing" is deducted from membership fees.

The accounts for the first part year of operation to 31st March, 2015* show that almost the total income of the charity came from just ONE source - a grant of £40,000 (of total income of £40,100) from "The Birmingham Post Growth Fund". Right, let's stop there and just analyse that.....

This is what THE BIRMINGHAM POST itself said about the "Birmingham Post Regional Growth Fund" on 26th August, 2014 shortly after Love Brum - a charity and not a business - was formed and before it got its dosh:

"The first round of the Birmingham Post Growth Fund has opened, with businesses able to bid for up to £100,000 to unlock investment plans.

The Post has promised to create hundreds of jobs all over again after being awarded £5 million from the Regional Growth Fund for a second time.

The funding will be delivered in tranches by The Post and partners Bournville College - and only to businesses unlocking the potential to create jobs and wealth in Birmingham, Solihull and Coventry, with the first round now open."

Just in case you still haven't got it, The Post helpfully explains: "The funding comes from the Government's Regional Growth Fund." In other words folks - it is OUR taxpayers' money they are doling out and NOT The Post's!!!!

And so some questions immediately arise:

Firstly, why was a substantial sum of taxpayers' money intended specifically for businesses and job creation diverted to a new start charity by The Birmingham Post and Bournville College? (Incidentally, in the first set of accounts Love Brum state they have created just one fairly low-paid post. They are NOT a business but, in law, a "charitable incorporated organisation.")

Secondly, if our money was to be diverted from bona fide businesses to a charity run by posh boys and girls, who made the decision to give to them and ignore the hundreds of small charities and associations around our City who have done great work for years but are under the financial cosh in these austere times? Love Brum say that their sole charitable purpose is to make small grants to such organisations who "bid" to them for the money but why should these upstarts be the arbiters of who gets OUR taxpayers' cash (at least in year one)? Why appoint what we shall see is an expensive "middleman" when the grants could have been made direct (once again assuming they are not ultra vires the RGF scheme)?

(Just for the record, The Post article referred to above mentioned that they had previously distributed an earlier tranche of RGF dosh, ie OUR money, and two of the happy recipients had been "Hollywood Monster" and "ORB Studios". Coincidentally, two of the Trustees named in Love Brum's accounts are (Chair) Tim Andrews of Hollywood Monster and Robert Bloxham of, yes you guessed it, Orb.)

So in the first period of operation Love Brum got £40k from the taxpayer and just £100 from other sources (equivalent to 5 "members"). The actual amount distributed to charities by this charity (!) was £0. Yes, nil, although there was over £10k in the bank uncommitted to creditors.

Of the £40,100 income Love Brum with fancy website provided by Orb (but did they charge?) had managed to burn through a colossal £28,560! That is an incredible 71% of the charitable income!

They spent £4,833 on fundraising which, apart from the £40k from The Post seems to have yielded £100! The trustees blew £4,378 on office costs, motoring, depreciation and "advertising". They paid the single member of staff £16,846.

One of Love Brum's "patrons" is accountancy giant KPMG who appear via promoted tweets on the Love Brum timeline and are prominent on the website:

You might think that a small new start charity which "loves brum" so much may have had its simple accounts prepared by some local firm at a reasonable rate but, oh no, the accountants are, yes you guessed it again, KPMG and for a dead-simple set of accounts they charged just £2,503 - a staggering 6% of total income (effectively from us taxpayers).

There are some good people like Jas Sansi and Gary Cardin linked to this outfit. Let's hope they try and get the accounts to 31/03/16 expedited and filed with the Charities Commission so that we can all see that matters have significantly improved and that 100% of money raised really is going to good causes. Clearly costs need to be greatly reduced from 71% of income! Watch this space......

Written by The Crow Flight

WANT TO WRITE ABOUT BIRMINGHAM? CONTACT:  iancrowmultimedia@gmail.com

* The accounts say that there was several months of "preliminary work" but the charity was legally formed on 17th June, 2014. Curiously, the accounts are not for a full year but made up to 31st March, 2015.

IAN CROW MULTIMEDIA LIMITED

Registered in the UK: 08892838