As the Crow Flies!

Wednesday, 11 February 2026

Randy Andy and Opera North

Arts organisations in the UK are overwhelmingly stuffed with lefties and yet arty companies and individuals are constantly grovelling to our grotesque "Royal" family. Why? One main reason, of course, is the expectation of baubles. Some of our greatest actors, for example, cannot open their mouths off stage without spouting socialist claptrap, but are quick to accept Damehoods and other "honours" down The Palace. Hypocrisy? Naked self-interest? Who knows?

When the writer buys tickets for arts events there is often a request for donations. "No" is the short response to any organisation with "Royal" in its name, or with "Royal" patrons. Perhaps others ought to follow suit ...

Of course, their insinuation into British institutions is seen by the monstrous monarchy as necessary to perpetuate itself. The "Royals" pull every lever to maintain their grasp on wealth and power.

Long before recent revelations, the man formerly known as "Prince" Andrew was the personification of arrogance and entitlement. His ill-fated "Marriage of Fiasco" to the toe-sucker, Ferguson, became the stuff of tabloid legend. Long before the Epstein saga, he was known as "Randy Andy". Not quite, due to primogeniture, "King Priam" but certainly "Prince Priapus". And fawning politicians facilitated his pursuit of wealth and la dolce vita by appointing him as a trade envoy and the like. Pass the sick bag, Alice.

In the course of "The Rake's Progress" the wonderful Opera North inexplicably made the ghastly pair "patrons". Look away now if you don't want to be sick over yourself:

Crow Multimedia wrote to Opera North about this ludicrous state of affairs:

"Press Enquiry - Royal Patronage

It is inexplicable to the general public why a brilliant arts organisation like ON feels the need to have "royal" patrons. What do you say is the benefit of having the Duke of Kent as a current patron?

Further, the person previously known as "Prince" Andrew, and Sarah Ferguson, were patrons of ON. Even without the current revelations it is unimaginable that such a ghastly pair should be associated with ON? Once again, what was the thinking in tying yourselves to that dreadful couple?

Can you please also name the trustees who made the decision to appoint "Randy Andy" and "Fergie" as patrons. It will be interesting to see if they, in turn, received baubles for what most would see as egregious grovelling."

Alas, answer came there none.

We should mention here that on the Opera North website, two of the current trustees boast OBE's. No doubt thoroughly merited.

There is no truth in the rumour that Opera North is renaming "The Magic Flute", "The Pink Oboe". But perhaps ON could find a, er, part for "Randy" in, say, "Dildo and Aneas [spellcheck please]" or "The Turn of the Screw". Maybe the productions are already in rehearsal ...

We wonder if Opera North will ever apologise for this shaming degringolade? Perhaps the better option would be to eschew further "Royal" patronage altogether, eh readers?

LONG LIVE THE REPUBLIC!

A Crow Multimedia Blog

Ian Crow Multimedia Limited

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Saturday, 7 February 2026

Kings Heath pubs buck national decline

Birmingham may be the UK's multi-ethnic "third city" (formerly the "second city") but it's the white folks who control the Socialist nirvana that is the southern suburb of Kings Heath (KH), as this image of those running a local forum meeting a couple of years ago amply demonstrates:

Formerly a working class area with a strong Irish community the area is undergoing gentrification. The growth of the state as an employer, and of the Brum universities, has led to an influx of bourgeois "socialists". You can tell this by the number of white middle-aged women wandering about wearing keffiyehs. And you can also buy something called "artisan" bread ...

The newbies are wealthy by Birmingham standards - which may not be saying much when a shaming 25% of the Labour city's working age population is in receipt of out-of-work benefits. But the property is - relatively - cheap and most of these folks are only moderately well-off. These are people who have never made any real money in the public sector, but are used to sucking from the state's nipple. Thus they can't live anywhere that is actually "nice", and chose to eke out their sinecures and pensions in an area which is only a couple of steps up from a public convenience.

Despite never having run a whelk stall "socialists" have the crazed and fallacious belief that they can organise communities. The primary example of this in KH is an incessant war on motorists which has happily resulted in "the Left" managing to exclude traffic from the more agreeable areas where they, er, live. They have forced ever greater traffic to clog the roads where the poorer folk huddle in their hovels.

As avowed anti-capitalists (although not when it comes to their own material well-being) the rather faded Reds have waged war on KH's once famous High Street. This straddles a major arterial route but economic considerations do not apply with these people, and the plan is to force everyone onto public transport and prevent vehicles using the road at all. This is only a part of the nonsense, believe me.

As someone who shops and drinks in KH on a regular basis there is no doubt that it is becoming a sh*thole. Yet it remains busy and shops and pubs are making so much money they actually pay extra tax to trade there. How much longer this will last as the socialists deliberately drive businesses away remains to be seen.

Yes, the local pubs and businesses pay extra tax - in the form of a levy - to a Labour Party-front organisation called, laughably, Kings Heath Business Improvement District (the BID), calculated as a percentage of a property's rateable value.

Now here is the curious thing. The media is awash with cries for help from publicans and the hospitality industry as the current Labour Government is throttling it with extra taxes and regulations. Business rates are a major bone of contention and the pub industry is crying-out for a VAT cut. The minimum wage and national insurance increases have been hollowing out pub businesses. New duty rules mean ever weaker beers are being served. Pubs are closing around the country (or operating much reduced opening hours if they are limping along). Staff are put out of work. Yes there are exceptions, of course, but these are few and far between. Yet the higher taxes, rates and costs are NOT a problem for KH pubs which are delighted to pay the BID levy on top! Why?

Crow Multimedia wrote the following press enquiry to a random sample of three KH boozers asking what the secret of their success is:

"The pub and music venue trades have suffered grievously in recent years and the current Labour Government appears to pile on the pain. Two well-known Brum pubs closed in January to my knowledge.

Social media is awash with complaints from publicans about tax generally, minimum wage increases, NI increases, and business rates. Yet Kings Heath is bucking the trend and you guys opt to actually pay more tax (in the form of a BID levy) on top of the current burden. Why are KH pubs doing so well that they can afford extra tax when many others appear to be struggling?"

Alas, the Loco Lounge, The Juke, and the Hare & Hounds declined to respond.

Usually higher taxes on businesses are passed on to consumers. Does that mean that KH pubs are charging higher prices to reflect this? As no-one is yet speaking-up, we can only guess! Just check the price of your pint next time you go out on KH's Tarnished (formerly Golden) Mile.

Another failed High Street business.

LEGAL NOTICE (CM Version 1 - 7th February, 2026)

In most cases we try to give the subjects of these blog posts the opportunity to comment on our journalism pre-publication to ensure the accuracy of our work.

Every now and again we make a genuine error and get something wrong. If an error in the blog affects you please email iancrowmultimedia@gmail.com and we shall

use our best endeavours to remove offending material and/or publish appropriate corrections forthwith (together with an apology, if applicable).

Tuesday, 27 January 2026

Clarkson's Pub - fun, but a one off

Warning: Hate and envy-fuelled lefties and bearded CAMRA-types look away now.

There are millions of us around the world who have enjoyed the marvellous Amazon Prime series, Clarkson's Farm. Series Four followed Jeremy Clarkson's travails in opening a pub in the Cotswolds. From my personal point of view it was particularly distressing to see so many of the places I enjoyed in my misspent youth and, er, adulthood, have closed down (and, of course, Starmer and Reeves are trying to deliver a knock-out blow to what remains).

Jeremy eventually found a site between Burford and Witney. There are some excellent food-lead pubs in that neck of the woods: The Swan at Swinbrook, The Bell at Langford, The Three Horseshoes (recently known as The Maytime) at Asthall, and others. Alas, this is an affluent area and prices are high - Google The Double Red Duke at Clanfield, but only if you are already wearing soiled underwear.

Armed with a substantial sum from his hard-work over several decades, Jeremy set about refurbing what was an empty cafe just off the A40. And he had to invest considerable resources - watch the programme and you will be stunned at the cost involved.

The result? A fun - crowded - mini-theme park run by excellent staff, but not the place to nip-in for a quiet pint! The main pub, The Farmer's Dog, is in the extended former pub (before the cafe interlude) - which I had been to a couple of times many moons ago. In the large grounds there is a huge "tent" containing a branch of Jeremy's Diddly Squat Farm Shop and another bar playfully named, The Farmer's Puppy. There are wonderful views from both.

I live in a poverty-ridden hell-hole where most pubs are on their arses and 25% of working-age people are on out-of-work benefits (Birmingham). The economic clouds get ever darker here and publicans of my acquaintance were terrified at what the absurd "Dry January" would bring (actually, so far, it has brought the closure of two very good Brum pubs - at least). Many places have been hideously quiet. Thus I was shocked on 15th December, 2025 when I went online to book a table for two for lunch at The Farmer's Dog on either the 22nd or 23rd January, 2026 only to find that there was no availability! If fact, to even stand a chance of getting a table in the main pub you have to book early. Here is the notice from the pub's own website - and they are NOT joking:

Thwarted in our ambition to break bread we turned up for a drink. This was at about 11.45 am on a wet and very dismal Thursday lunchtime. The area by the pub itself is reserved for blue badge motorists and we were directed to a large car park across the road. It was immediately apparent that this was no ordinary country boozer as there were FOUR attendants directing traffic - at a substantial cost to the bottom-line of the business. (And we are sure that number must increase in summer).

Walking to the pub we noticed the arrival of taxis (of which more anon). We walked through the farm shop and the Puppy where there was already a host of customers. At the main pub we met an immediate problem since we had no table for luncheon. Quite rightly, Jeremy does not want the hoi-polloi tramping through the restaurant to get to the famous terrace, but this creates a rather unfortunate problem since we had to actually take our drinks back outside the pub and then enter the terrace via a separate door. Not good that bit.

Obviously JC's Hawkstone Brand dominates the beer selection. (Later in the day I sampled an IPA elsewhere and was distinctly underwhelmed.) I had the only cask that I could see on offer - Old Hooky. It was acceptable rather than good, with a rather "first-pull" tang to it.

As we returned to the car yet another taxi was arriving together with a tide of humanity from the car park. Again - this on a grim January lunchtime. Quite incredible.

We were staying the night in beautiful Burford and were amazed when locals told us that many folk regularly stay in the town and take taxis to Jeremy's pub! We actually met one such couple.

Personally - and as we are old farts - we will visit again although not in the summer when it must be manic there. And we will only go when we can get a table for lunch. But we really applaud this enterprise which is creating many jobs locally, not just at the "theme park" itself, but for local taxis, hotels etc. Plus, of course, Jeremy has been a stalwart supporter of local farmers and, wherever, possible, sources local produce for the shops and pub.

One caveat. We sincerely hope Jeremy will be around for a good few years yet, but clearly he and the TV show have been the draw for thousands of visitors. Quite how this enterprise will survive if he keels over tomorrow, we are not at all sure. But enough of that - this was a fun visit and a boon for the local economy. What's not to like? Go and see for yourselves.

Incidentally, we dropped in at the original Diddly Squat Farm Shop on the way back. Although very small, cars were flooding in on another miserable January day.

On a final and slightly unrelated note, as we headed northward to Britain's "third city" we visited (for the first time in decades) - The Horseshoe in Shipston-on Stour (south of Stratford-upon-Avon). It's a cracker!

iancrowmultimedia@gmail.com

A Crow Multimedia Blog

Monday, 19 January 2026

The Thurd Sector #4 - Places in Common Limited

As we have pointed out in this series the Thurd Sector is crammed with lefties and self-declared, er, anti-capitalists. These jokers are adept at screwing the taxpayer (and others) whilst feathering their own nests.

In recent times a new crock of gold has become available via the climate change industry. As ever with the Thurds, there are layers of organisations feeding off one another - but usually with the taxpayer as the patsy. And the climate change lobby is viciously anti-motorist.

Places in Common Limited in bankrupt Labour Birmingham is actually a "co-op" - another type of organisation trying to feed off Britain's shrinking cadre of workers. Two of the original directors from 2019 are still running the show now - Bryan Nott and Labour Cllr Lisa Trickett (who earned £18,876 from taxpayers as a Councillor in the last municipal year). Originally there were two other directors, one of whom was also involved in a notorious Brum Labour-front Thurd Sector cash machine, The Active Wellbeing Society [sic] - another "community benefit society".

Two of the directors dropped away but Nott and Trickett were quick to appoint one Alice, er, Nott to their nice little earner. Could she possibly be related?

This "co-op" was set up ostensibly to promote [warning - load of w*nk ahead] "community development and local regeneration". The registered address is in that affluent and "trendy" suburb, Moseley. But almost immediately it pivoted to the riches flowing from the climate change industry.

Here the position becomes a little complicated in that all the money (or a very substantial part of it) received by the co-op seems to have come from just two contracts to promote climate change. The first is with a Dutch Thurd Sector outfit called Climate KIC (although it also uses other names including its actual legal name, the snappy "Stichting Climate KIC International Foundation". It won't surprise readers of this series that the vast bulk of its funds comes from the EU and European governments. Happily, and despite Brexit, some of the euro loot is finding its way into the pockets of the Notts and Trickett.

The legal status of the second outfit, "West Midlands Route to Net Zero" is opaque. Birmingham University is involved as is the Labour-controlled West Midlands Combined Authority. Although it has a posh website (cost unknown) it is completely silent about its legal status and finances. I have written to it and will keep you posted. Suffice to say here that the notorious. appalling and viciously anti-car Brum Labour Councillor, Waseem Zaffar, is a member of the Advisory Board.

And what of the finances of the Nott/Trickett Co-op? Below is a table summarising the key financials. The "Directors" are also the "staff" of the Co-op and so the high "admin costs" entries reflect the dosh they are stripping out. Where stated the precise sums are shown in the bottom line of the table.

The actual "work" done seems to be writing reports and developing policy to promote climate change. Happily this has been very remunerative for our campaigning heroes.

After paying a bit of tax in the first couple of years the Directors have now paid none by reason of there being significant financial losses. These have been brought about by the large sums being grabbed by the Directors. In 2021 to 2024 inclusive the admin expenses have EXCEEDED the actual revenue coming in. Look at 2023! And in 2004 the Notts and Trickett only had revenue of £26,200 but paid themselves £31,500. In most businesses this would be wholly unsustainable yet the tap somehow keeps flowing. The figures below are in the public domain and have been submitted to the Financial Conduct Authority.

[The Directors will have to declare the income they are grabbing as part of their personal tax liabilities and potentially pay income tax on it.]

The "route to less than net zero" has been, indeed, taken and the Directors have gone beyond and deliberately ensured minus figures i.e. losses.

In the meantime, a new (Labour front) benefit society has been set-up to takeover the Kings Heath Community Centre from the failing Labour Council in a bent deal. Mug punters have been asked to part with their money for this via a crowdfunder. The crowdfunder, run by Bryan Nott, has failed but has simply been extended (and is currently at 69% of target if you are mad enough to want to invest).

The Board includes, incredibly, the Manager of the appalling local BID, or Business Improvement District, which has been shilling this project all along even though it has nothing whatsoever to do with improving business for the hard-pressed traders who are forced to pay extra tax (the levy) to trade in Kings Heath. Did I mention that, equally incredibly, Cllr Lisa Trickett is on the Bid Board?

And, of course, Bryan Nott and Lisa Trickett are also on the Board of the new Benefit Society where they will no doubt bring their financial acumen acquired whilst running Places in Common to the table.

What could possibly go wrong?

Investors and BID levy payers - don't say we didn't warn you!

iancrowmultimedia@gmail.com

A Crow Multimedia Blog.

Thursday, 15 January 2026

Publicans: Beware the cash dinosaurs!

In my experience the sort of customers who insist on paying cash in pubs are total tossers. I once overheard an old git saying that he did not want the deep state tracking him - as if even a Chinese-style national surveillance system would be interested in the doings of a complete w*nker!

On the other hand, I am a “classic liberal” and it should be a decision for mein host whether to take cash or not. The fact remains that the number of cash-users is rapidly dwindling, and many publicans also have the difficulty of finding a bank branch locally to deposit takings.

In Brum there are now many pubs and bars which are card-only. Punters should respect that rather than giving staff a hard time. But some actively seek REVENGE …

Let me preface this yarn by explaining that there is a small chain of ghastly pubs in the West Midlands named “The Pub at …” followed by the name of what the imbecilic trendies call “the ‘burb” or “the ‘hood”. Next time you are in, say, Kings Heath shortly after 9.00 am take a look through the window of “The Pub at Kings Heath” and see the dregs of humanity already gathering within. They make a Wetherpoons clientele look positively exotic and upmarket!

There is one popular and delightful Brum pub - a winner of multiple awards - which is superbly run. It attracts a wide-section of the local community although, happily, not usually the sort who use the “Pub at …” chain. It encourages card payment and I have personally never seen anyone actually pay cash there.

One night four scumbags came in and ordered four pints. They then made a scene when asked for card payment. Wrongly, in my personal opinion, the pub backed down and took the cash. That should have been the end of it but one of the frightful foursome later posted a one star Google review. (Its current score is 4.8 out of five with a very clear majority awarding 5 stars.) Bizarrely, the only other one star reviewer complained about the staff - who are absolutely brilliant. Indeed, many Brum pub-users I know rate one as being in the top three bartenders in the whole city.

To add insult to injury, the querulous quartet then visited “The Pub at Moseley”, another outpost of the grisly toilets cum hostelries, and took to Google to give it a four star review! WTF?

Two lessons. I think:

Pubs should use clear signage if “card-only”; and
Don’t pander to morons.

[P.S. The EU, from which the UK is temporarily estranged (!?) is. with its usual obsession for regulation, considering making "card-only" illegal, and I am sure our new leftie elected dictatorship will somehow feel the need to follow suit.]

Cheers ...

iancrowmultimedia@gmail.com

A Crow Multimedia Publication.

Monday, 12 January 2026

The British Legion - Don't tarnish the Poppy!

It is hard to be critical about ‘The Legion". Since 1921 it has provided much-needed succour to members of our armed forces and their families. The brilliantly-devised annual Poppy appeal continues to raise huge sums for the men and women who protect us all.

The Legion’s obsequiousness to our grotesque monarchy is a problem for those of us who are not prepared to grovel before our hideous “royal” family. Ironically, The Legion is quick to "out" weirdos who appear at Remembrance and other events sporting fake uniforms and medals and yet the “royals” have turned such cosplay falsity into an art-form. Here’s “King” Charlatan III proving the point:

[Curiously, one member of this hereditary mafia who did win, and is entitled to wear, a Falklands Medal is the disgraced, Andrew - formerly known as “Prince”.]

The Poppy is such a wonderfully powerful symbol that ludicrous lefties have tried to hijack its success with the “White Poppy” (and similar) for deluded peaceniks to don. Presumably if we all wave these at the likes of Mad Vlad Putin, tyrants and mass-murderers will soon lay down their arms and take up crochet instead.

But we are not alone in feeling a little queasy when November approaches and the start of what seems to be an annual competition by individuals and organisations to show who cares most about our veterans. Indeed the first manifestation of this is the outbreak of Poppy-wearing WEEKS before Remembrance Day - even, or especially, on the BBC. Auntie literally employs underlings to stick poppies on anyone going on air.

Every village is in competition with its neighbour to produce ever more gross displays with ever greater numbers of poppies so that huge red gashes now spew from the tops of church towers and across graveyards. The ailing/failing mainstream media seizes on this fetishisation of remembrance to try and regain some relevance. The unfortunate trend has reached its apogee with the Disneyland of Death known as “The National Memorial Arboretum”.

The poignancy of the Poppy is well-expressed by The Legion itself. It is meant to be a humble symbol above political and religious sectarianism. Tell that to our politicians who use remembrance events to parade their own alleged credentials as caring people. The run-up to Remembrance Day is a chance to preen and, indeed, to have a right good laugh. This applies across the political spectrum. But witness, for example, the events in the corrupt Labour Dictatorship of Sandwell in recent times as described in the Sandwell Skidder blog.*

The War of the Wreaths.

Sandwell - near the bottom of every deprivation league table going after half a century of total Labour control - witnessed an appalling incident actually at a Remembrance Day ceremony in a nasty place called Wednesbury. That town had a pecking order when it came to political wreath-laying whereby a representative of the party in government nationally laid the first tribute. Once, when the Tories were in power. a local Conservative stepped forward to do the honours. This was too much for a frightful, self-important tosser called Cllr Peter Hughes (Labour). He took the view that as the Labour dictatorship controlled the sh*thole Borough, he should lay the first political wreath. And so, to the amazement of all present, he barged in front of the Tory with complete disregard for the meaning of the ceremony and got the Labour wreath on the memorial first!

Oops, we’ve missed the photo op!

Sandwell Labour publish dozens of photos every November showing Councillors posing to remember those we have lost or who suffered egregiously during military service. There is no call for solemnity on such occasions and Councillors can have a laugh whilst enjoying the photo ops. Here’s Labour’s Liz Giles seeing the funny side [sic] of the occasion:

[And see further below.]

The Sandwell Labour Councillors are mostly thick as two short planks and sometimes forget that they are supposed to be using Remembrance Day for political propaganda. Thus, on one notorious occasion, having forgotten to get some snaps taken, they took the wreaths back off a war memorial and posed for pics before re-laying them!

Hijacking the Legion’s Poppy Appeal

Now Labour in Sandwell is also hijacking the Legion’s own Poppy appeal - incredibly, with The Legion’s consent! Once again there is no need for solemnity when grabbing The Legion’s stall and here Labour MP Sarah Coombes (West Bromwich) and Labour Cllr Pam Randhawa are seen clowning and having a high-old time.

Worse still, MP “Sicko” Sarah - incredibly - thought it appropriate to bring her own advertising pop-up banner along to promote herself at The Legion’s stall! Sick or what? Here she is with the offending item:

Incredibly, The Legion actually allowed this grotesque and disgusring pantomime via its local representative (who, to be fair, had done a good job before this shaming degringolade). It is entirely coincidental that he tried, a while back, for a Labour nomination to a Council seat in a ward which is now in Sicko Sarah’s constituency.

Send them naked to the battlefield

By the way, Sandwell Labour voted en masse for a showboating motion trying to stop the local government pension money from being invested in the UK arms trade. Apparently they “love” our armed forces but don’t actually want them to have any, er, weapons (or, at least, British-made ones).

And Nationally …

The ceremony at the Cenotaph each year has always been a big day for our preening “royals”. It seems appropriate that, usually, our Prime Minister should attend if s/he is inclined to do so but then a rag-tag band of opposition “leaders” also turn-up. We cannot let this piece finish without mentioning the absolute national insult of terrorist-lover, Jerry (aka Jeremy) Corbyn, attending this national event (at the time representing the Labour Party). Some of the fallen being remembered were killed by his pals in the IRA. He did then, and still still supports terrorist groups across the globe. Rather than honour our forces his style of wreath-laying is this, honouring Palestinian terrorists in Tunisia.

We say:

Maybe The Legion can’t stop such national outrages - but it should make its views known. And to use a recent political slogan, it needs to “take back control” of the Remembrance Day events in which it is involved. Please do not let politicians tarnish the Poppy and commandeer your fundraising efforts (often run by marvellous volunteers).

Lest we forget:

James Reece (aka John Pugh) - killed-in-action near Delville Wood, France, 1916 - no known grave.

* https://thesandwellskidder.blogspot.com/

Ian Crow Multimedia Limited

iancrowmultimedia@gmail.com

Thursday, 14 August 2025

Skip Uni - Join the Council!

Many young people are contemplating starting uni. The high-flyers should go, but are the also-rans likely to get much benefit from a low-status degree and eye-watering debt? Many will have received disappointing results today. Having already failed, is some odd degree at a "clearing" university the answer? No - you are doing the rapacious unis a favour rather than yourselves.

Labour has just increased tuition fees to £9,535 per year. At least the real dross won’t ever earn enough to pay their student loans back, although they have wasted three years of their lives.

An alternative? Get a job at a council - preferably one that is dominated by one political party. If you are a yes wo/man this is definitely the job for you.

If you follow some basic rules you are virtually unsackable no matter how useless you are. Ok, the pay is not fantastic to start with, but then you are probably not worthy of a better salary. Yet you will start clocking-up a good pension. And if you (a) join the council’s governing party, and (b) are prepared to break the law to “protect” the council and its councillors, and (c) are prepared to completely surrender independence of thought for a party “line”, you are quids in.

Even if you do fall foul of the regime you are likely to end up with a compensation payment and a reference provided that you sign a confidentiality agreement.

Whether you like it or not, you will be forced to pay an annual amount to a trade union but that in itself can lead to openings. Thanks to a bizarre thing called “facility time” [sic] you may get to be a union rep with your wages paid for by the taxpayer. You can get paid in full NOT to do your council job!

There are jobs out there. Despite the appalling productivity of council workers Labour thinks the answer is to employ more idlers. This is your chance.

Many councils are extremely lax at clamping down on the sickness absence running rampant throughout councils. Absenteeism is much higher than in the private sector. In one case we are aware of someone took ONE YEAR off with a simple broken wrist. In Sandwell (of which more anon) there was much back-slapping from the Council about its COVID performance, but when figures were released there had, in fact, been mass absenteeism. (Sandwell introduced Shirking From Home - SFH - in a big way at this time and one lucky employee got to enjoy regular shagging sessions with a councillor in the comfort of her own home.) And so you can also boost your annual holiday entitlement with occasional bouts of fictitious illness.

Don’t worry that you may have to trail into the Town Hall or some dismal concrete council HQ since SFH is now prevalent in many local authorities. Many council employees are now running side-hustles from home whilst allegedly “serving the public”.

And it gets better. Labour is pressing for council workers to do four days “work” for five days taxpayer-funded pay. South Cambridgeshire Council has already gone for it. If you have hobbies or interests and are a slacker you can have three days a week to indulge your passion but with a salary and a pension. If you do have a little bit of get-up-and-go then this provides ample opportunity for even more side-hustling. (Firefighters are wonderful capitalists and use their monopolistic powers to extract good pay whilst being famous adept at running second jobs or companies).

Because council employees are often so useless (or off sick) multimillion pound sums are spent on agency workers. This gives you two opportunities especially once you have gained a bit of experience. Firstly, you need not bust a gut at work since the taxpayer can be screwed to pay for agency workers to pick up your slack. Secondly, if you want a more flexible lifestyle you can do agency work yourself. Despite the gargantuan fees paid to recruitment agencies these folk are on a very good screw indeed. Many like Labour MP, Imogen Walker, became self-employed so as to minimise any tax liability whilst doing a "crony" non-job at dear old Sandwell.

As above, if you are wondering about the current level of pay consider that you might soon have to work only 4 days a week for it! Happy days (off).

Let’s look at a case study - Labour Sandwell in the West Midlands. This is one of the most corrupt councils in the land. It has been run as a one-party dictatorship for over half a century. The result is a sh*thole Borough at or near the bottom of most deprivation “leagues”.Google “The Sandwell Skidder” if you want to read the full horror story over the last decade or so, but we will touch on just a few examples.

Many Sandwell employees are family or friends of Labour Councillors. Nepotism and cronyism are both rife. A former disgraced political leader collected the leader’s allowance whilst living in north Derbyshire and actually working for Rotherham Council. (Incidentally, he went on TV saying that people were not paid off subject to signing confidentiality agreements when his own wife had enjoyed just such a departure package.) The current Leader’s husband works for Sandwell and she has declared that he does a few side-hustles too. There are a number of ways to profit from local government.

Some Sandwell employees in recent years have been directly involved in trading Class A drugs. West Midlands Police (WMP) knew of some, but provided the dealers with protection. It took outsiders - the National Crime Agency - to nail two & they are both now serving a 12-stretch.

Yes, Sandwell has a deeply corrupt relationship with WMP. Councillors and officers enjoy considerable immunity from prosecution. One errant employee did not face investigation but at the time was shagging a senior WMP officer. A fraud investigation was allowed to lapse by the police when an employee was buying council land on the cheap. He was also the son of a leading Councillor. Unusually, he was forced out of the Council but then awarded a substantial part of a £2m SEND transport contract in highly controversial circumstances. A senior WMP officer boasted of his “golf and spa weekends” with Sandwell's top brass [sic].

A policewoman mysteriously sat in on an interview between an employee and a complainant. The pair made a malicious and false allegation that the complainant had threatened them and the Council took him to Court. Fortunately the chap had recorded the whole meeting and he was exonerated (after facing an incredibly stressful few months). The police officer cried-off one of the court hearings as she claimed to be sick. On the court date she put pictures of herself shopping in New York on her socials. She faced no sanction for any of this.

On behalf of the Council, WMP ran a relentless campaign against The Sandwell Skidder for exposing corruption within the Council - until one senior officer finally “saw the light”.

Sandwell became synonymous with corruption, cronyism and incompetence and was eventually placed in ‘special measures’ by the Government due to serious governance issues. This cost taxpayers another £2m. Almost no-one has ever faced sanction and the Council continues to operate exactly as it did before. You see - officers are safe!

The Chief Executive at Sandwell for many years was an appalling groveller called Jan Britton. He managed to keep his well-paid job despite his - at best - hopeless performance and was eventually kicked out. Unusually, due to his shocking track record, he did not receive a ‘golden goodbye’, but a mate called Joe Harris in another council immediately employed him. He then got an agency job with Tory Dorset (who were aware of his terrible record) at £900 per day.

The new Chief Executive at Sandwell is on a good screw - £195,000 to £199,499 plus gold-plated pension. He is doing such a great job at the bent Council (which recently acknowledged a £20m "black hole" in its budget) that he has been allowed to work as part of a Government team at Tower Hamlets where he is paid £1,000 a day for one day a week. There is serious money in local government thanks to the taxpayer. And if you play the game well enough you also get to enjoy various taxpayer freebies and p*ss-ups too!

There we are - be smart, Forget uni and become a local bureaucrat.

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